A Knife in the Dark part 20.5

20.5 Luke. 

Last Time: “If you touch her, I will kill you,” I say gripping my knife.  Alice puts her hand on my shoulder. I grab it, and twist her arm. I put my rusty knife to her neck.
 “And don't touch me either.”

“Luke, let me go.” Says Alice. I twist her arm more. 
“If you know anything about me, you would not play with my hart.” She vanishes into the air. Leaving me holding nothing. I close me hand. I start to cry. 
“I miss you too Clare.” I say to myself, knowing I can never see her again. I sit back down in Leann's old char. I let my knife fall to the ground, putting my head in my hands and crying. I remember when she would hit me on the shoulder. When she would slap me, then kiss me. When I would just sit there and look into her brown eyes. She would laugh and hug me. When she would beat me with just her hands against my sword. Sometimes I wish I could've stopped Leann. If I had been there, could I have saved her? Or would I be dead too. 
I take my knife and put it to the side of my head. 
“If I push, will I be with you? If I let life go, could I hold your hand again?” I say. “No, I would be gone. I could still find you. You could've lived. That's silly, not even you could live through that. If only I could have stopped Leann.” I drop my knife. 
I pack up my things and go to find Sean. He may want to kill me, but maybe he can help me. 
When I find him, I see Alice. She quickly jumps away from me. 
“What do you want? Do you wish to kill me?” She says. Sean looks dead at her feet. 
“Is he dead?” I ask her. 
“What? Oh, Sean. No, just, overwhelmed.” She says. 
“I need his help.” 
“Sorry, he won't help you. And either will I.”
“Please. I beg you.”
“You're on your own.” She says and picks up Sean on her shoulders. They vanish. 
A little bit later, I come across a mention. It's white walls make it look like a castle. It is at the top a of mountain. I sigh and start up the mountain.