Disclaimer: We all know I don't own Alice in Wonderland, or Doctor Who.
Obviously.
The hillside was empty,
except for a tree, bent with age. But there was nothing really
unusual about the scene.
Not yet anyway.
A sudden sound rang out and a blue box appeared. Vworp! Vworp! Vworp! It faded in and out until it became quite solid. A few moments later, the door opened and a girl with fiery ginger hair came out, her hair in a scarf. She looked around and stuck her head back into the box and called in a Scottish accent “Doctor! Are you coming?”
“Yes,
yes!” A man's voice called from the depths of the box. “Me,
coming, now!” He stepped out and the girl groaned when she saw him.
He frowned at her and said “What? What's wrong?”
“You're
wearing the fez again,” the girl said and she took the funny
looking red hat off his head. He smiled and said “Of course, Amy.
Fezzes are cool. Now give it back.”
“Like
bow ties, I assume?” Amy asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes,
exactly, now give it back,” he said, frowning, but before he could
take it back, Amy threw the fez and it landed in a rabbit hole. A
rather large rabbit hole, to be precise.
“Amy!”
The Doctor cried. “What did you do that
for?”
“It's
just a fez, Doctor.”
Amy said in exasperation and walked to the edge of the hole. “Doctor,
come look at this! I can't see the bottom!”
“Amy,
be careful, please,” the Doctor warned, but too late; the edge the
hole collapsed and Amy screamed as she fell into the hole.
“Amy!”
The Doctor ran to the edge of the hole and peered down it. “Amy?”
he circled around the hole, running his fingers through his hair
before shouting into the hole “Amelia!”
He looked around before looking back down the hole. A moment later,
he smiled to himself and walked away from the hole. He turned back to
it, ran and jumped in, shouting “GERONIMO!”
And so our adventure begins.
_
Music was playing softly in
the background, over and over again. The Dormouse, or Mallymkun as
she preferred to be called, was asleep inside of a teapot, and the
March Hare was nodding off. But Terrant Hightopp was awake and deep
in memories, his face somber. His scorched top hat had a few pins
sticking out of it. There was a teacup in one hand and a saucer of
another cup in the other hand. He was sipping, but absentmindedly,
and he suddenly realized that his cup was empty, just as he had
realized every few minutes. He frowned at the cup, as though it were
the cup's fault he didn't have anymore tea. With a sigh, he put the
cup down in the saucer and placed it on the table. He stood, looked
around the table, then shouted “Clean cup! Move down!”
Mallymkun
didn't hear, but the Hare jerked awake and screamed into her ear
“Move down, Mally-Lass!”
“No,
I'm asleep,” she grumbled stubbornly, not opening her eyes. The
Hare and the Hatter ignored her and moved around the table until they
settled down again in different chairs.
“Pass
the sugar,” the Hatter asked and the March Hare threw it at him. He
skillfully caught it and put a few lumps in his cup before pouring
tea. He then resumed his somber expression and sipped at the tea. The
Hare nodded off again. The Hatter looked at his tea and picked up a
biscuit to go with it. They had jam in between two biscuits and the
Hatter called them Jammies. They were quite good with tea.
His mind
wandered away as he ate the biscuit. Memories of the past few days
came over him and he smiled, if not a little wistfully. He wasn't
exactly sure how long Alice had been gone, but it felt like an
eternity. Still, she had promised to come back some day. In
the meantime, he missed her and her muchness.
The
garden gate opened and a man walked in, wearing a funny looking red
hat on his head. He was looking around and frowning, but when he saw
the tea party, he smiled and said “Ah! Don't mind me, but can you
tell me where and when I am, and if you've seen a girl about this
tall with red hair and-”
“FEZ!”
The Hatter shouted, pointing and jumped up. He stood on the table and
walked down it, plucking the hat off of the man's head. He inspected
it and frowned. “This is terribly
made. Who made this? Fezzes should be made with delicacy! With
talent! This was just
thrown together by a mad man! No, no, no. That's
not a fez.” He turned to his companions and shouted “This isn't a
fez! It's just a piece of muck egg!” He turned back to the man and
said “No, no, no. Come, come, I'll make you a fez.” He tossed the
fez aside.
“Who
are you?” The man asked curiously.
“Who
am I? I'm...” The Hatter frowned. “I'm Terrant Hightopp. The last
of the Hightopp clan...” He looked at the table behind him and said
“Hare!”
The
March Hare jerked away and moaned “How many apples does it take to
reach the sky?”
“We
have a guest!” The Hatter told him in delight. “This is...” he
looked back at the man. “Who's this? Who are you again?”
“I'm
the Doctor,” the man said. The Hatter roared with laughter and said
“A doctor!” He turned back to the Hare and said “Did you hear
that? This man's a doctor!”
“You're
late for tea!” The Hare shouted and threw a teacup at a tree. It
shattered and the Hatter laughed and climbed back over the table to
his chair. “Would you like some tea, Doctor?”
“Why
not?” The Doctor asked, shrugging. “But I can't stay long. I have
to find a friend.”
The
Hatter laughed and looked at the Hare. “I like this fellow! Why
not, indeed?”
“Alright,”
the Doctor said, looking rather confused. The Hatter passed him the
cup of tea and the Doctor looked at the plate of Jammies and he
seemed to forget everything as he cried “Are... Are those... Jammie
Dodgers?”
“Is
that what they're called?” The Hatter asked, frowning. “I
called them Jammies...”
The
Doctor picked one up and bit into it. He smiled and said “So!
You're a Hatter?”
“Indeed!
The Hightopps have been employed by Her Majesty since... forever!
We've always been employed by the Queen, but I'm the last one
after...” He looked at his tea and stirred it, frowning slightly.
Dark memories came back, but then he remembered Alice slaying the
Jabberwocky responsible for the death of the Hightopp clan and he
smiled ruthlessly.
“There'
a ruler here?” The Doctor asked, looking interested.
“Indeed!
The White Queen, recently placed back on the throne of Underland!”
The Hatter said, smiling.
The
Doctor thought before saying “Didn't you say you could make hats?”
“Indeed,
Sir!” Said the Hatter proudly. “The very finest in Underland!”
“Can
you make fezzes?” The Doctor asked.
“You
insult me,” the Hatter replied, looking hurt. “I can make any
hat.”
“Can
you make me a fez?” The Doctor persisted.
“Can
you pay?” The Hatter replied.
“Maybe.
What do you accept?”
The
Hatter looked at him and said “Not money. Money is of no use here.
Do you have any pins?”
“Pins?”
The Doctor frowned. He looked around on his body and said “No, no
pins... I can cook! I learned in France!”
“Cook
us a meal, then!” The Hatter said, smiling. He stood and said “Time
to get to work!” He stood and said “Fairfarren, my
friends!”
“Where're
you goin'?” The Hare wailed as the Hatter and the Doctor walked
off. The Hatter ducked as the Hare aimed a teacup at his head and the
Doctor said “Is he okay?”
“He's
mad,” the Hatter said simply. “Ah... Chessur.”
A cat
appeared on a tree branch above above them. He smiled widely and said
“Hullo, Terrant.”
“What
do you want?” The Hatter asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Nothing.
Who's your friend?” The Cat asked.
“I'm
the Doctor,” the Doctor said.
“Doctor
what?” The Cat asked, smiling.
“Well,
that's new... Most people say Doctor who...”
“What
sort of a name is that?”
“My
name, apparently.”
“You're
name's what?” The Cat said.
“I've
just told you.”
“You
have?”
“Yes.”
“Yes
what?”
“Just
told you.”
“Told
me what?”
The
Doctor looked at the Hatter, who was watching the conversation in
amusement. “Good day, Chess.”
“Indeed
it is! Where are you off to?” The Cat asked, floating down to them.
“I'm
going to make the Doctor a fez,” the Hatter said.
“Wonderful!
May I come along? I do enjoy watching you make your hats,” the Cat
purred.
“If
you must,” the Hatter replied with a shrug. So, the trio made their
way to the Hatter's house.
The
Doctor looked around the house, seeing hats of all sorts. He would
pick one up, put it on, take it off, put it back where he found it,
and picked another one whilst the Hatter was working intently,
grabbing red fabric and sewing, and creating the perfect fez.
The
Doctor had tried on every hat in the house before finding a stetson.
He smiled and put it on before turning to the Cat and smiling. “What
do you think?”
The Cat
looked at him for a moment before grinning. “You looked absolutely
mad.”
“I
am!” The Doctor said gleefully. “I'm a mad man with a box!”
“Where's
your box?”
“Not
here.”
“Why?”
“Well,
I jumped in a hole after Amy and-”
“Who's
Amy?” The Cat interrupted. The Doctor frowned and said “Amy's my
friend. In fact, I don't know where she is right now. I don't even
know where I am. Or, when I am.” He looked at the Cat and
said “Could you tell me where and when I am?”
“You
are in Underland, at the time of Celebration, for the White Queen is
once again in the throne!” The Hatter called from where he was
working, insistently forgetting he already told the Doctor this.
“I
wonder where Amy is,” the Doctor wondered aloud, but no one had an
answer. The Doctor sat down and said “Oh, where is that Pond?”
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