A Knife in the Dark (REDO)

I'm going back and giving A Knife in the Dark a plot. Think of the chapters as short parts.

A Knife in the Dark
Chapter I, Sean
Two of a Kind
I am sitting on my bed. It is a cold winter night. My name is Sean. No one can understand what's happening to me. I get these headaches, I am having one right now. The sharp pain starts at the back of my neck, and goes to both sides of my head. Small flashes of light start to come from my eyes. My body freezes, as if a plug has been pulled from my mind. The pain increases, and I pass out.
I wake up on my bed, with a cup of milk on the bedside table. I reach out for the glass, I feel like I haven't drank anything in days. But before I can grab it, a hand pushes it away.
"No, you can't have some. Thanks for asking." My older sister says.
"Lucy, please." I say. She rolls her eyes.
"Fine." She gives me the glass, but I almost drop it. Lucy grabs it right before it hits the ground.
"Not surprised. You were out for weeks. I'll get you something better for your throat." Until Lucy said something, I didn't realize that my throat hurt.
"Thanks." I choke. Lucy smiles, then leaves with the milk. Lucy is only older by a year, sometimes it's like we're twins. We look the same. People even think we are. 
Lucy comes back with some water. A glass for me, and a glass for herself.
"How bad was it this time?" She asked handing me the water.
"Bad. I don't know how to describe it." I say holding the glass tightly. I take a sip, it helps a little. My head starts to spin.
"Lu-" I start, but I can't finish.

So, I Haven't Posted Much...

Don't say it,  "Zay, you haven't posted in so long! Could that really be you?" Yeah, that. I know I know. So to make up for it, I made a the beginning of something that doesn't have a name yet. If you don't know what Vocaloids, or Utauloids, are look them up. If you have a name for this one, let me know. Oh, and please tell me if my Japanese is wrong!

My friends Kuro Neko, Neru, Gumi, Teto and I were at school with my twin Rin as well. Any time we had free, we would spend it with each other. We have a lot of time together because of the way our school works. Right now, we are on brake. Kuro comes up to me with a note.
"Hello, Len. Still alone I see? Want some company?" She says trying to hide the note from me.
"What you got there?" I say pointing to the note.
"Nothing. What's up?" I can always tell when Kuro is lying. You can see it in her body movements. She moves a little away from you in her leg that's next, or in front, of you. Her right leg is a little far away from me right now.
"Kuro, what is it?" I say one last time. She sighs.
"It is a note from Mrs. Hatsune. She says she wants to see me after school." Rin sneaks up behind Kuro.
"Again!" Yells Rin. Kuro let's out a small scream, then turns around and yells at her in Japanese for about a minute.
" あなたは少しバカ!私はあなたを殺すつもりだ!さらに良いことに、私はそれを行うには、LENを買ってあげる!私はこのために我慢できないだろう!私は、RINあなたがそんなに嫌い!"
"You done now?" Says Neru as she walks up behind me, Teto at her side. Kuro takes a deep breath.
" はい ." She crinkles up the note and throws it in the trash. Rin walks away mumbling to herself about how she is going to get Kuro for making her mad. Teto is quiet most of the time, so she walked off with Kuro trying to calm her down a little. That left me, and Neru. Great. Neru pinches my shoulder. I turn around slowly. I really, really, don't want to talk to her.
"Yes. What is it?" I say trying not to sound angry.