Yes I've been absent.
I've been busy.
Busy = TUMBLRTUMBLRTUMBLRFOODSLEEPTUMBLRTUMBLR
Anyhoo, I am done with my fanfiction class and in the process, I wrote two stories (both about One Direction aND HUSH IT'S A "FANFICTION" CLASS I'M SUPPOSED TO WRITE THEM OKAY okay) so I'll post one now, and next Thursday (when I'm actually supposed to post -- AMAZING). So yeah. Enjoy. (Note: White Eskimo was Harry's band before One Direction - look it up on YouTube to see a fetus I mean baby I mean young Harry Styles.)
It’s just a scarf.
That’s all, right?
But it’s not.
It has a story.
It holds the past.
It was there from the very beginning.
From where it all started.
“Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks,” Chris Martin sang into my ears as I paced backstage. I adjusted my scarf again and tugged at the hem of my shirt as another lady came off stage in tears. Her family led her away as the next man walked out in front of the crowd. As he started to sing, I turned away and started another lap around the small space in the side of the platform.
I had smiled earlier when we arrived, when I was interviewed. But now reality sank in. I was really doing this.
“Harry,” a warm voice called out to me, interrupting "Clocks." My mother glided over to me and gently pulled the earbud out of my left ear. “You need to relax, sweetheart. Everything will be fine, right?” She kissed me on the cheek as I put my earbuds and my iPod away.
I crossed the room to the wall and slid down it ‘til I was sitting down. I bit my lip as my eyes scanned the floor. I ran a hand through my hair. The man from earlier came off the stage with a smug look on his face. He sneered at me as he walked away, his (I’m assuming) mother and grandmother chattering happily.
I closed my eyes as the next boy, some blonde I saw earlier who told me his name which I’d now forgotten, walked on stage. He started singing way better than I could ever do. My breathing quickened as I listened to him belt out his lyrics. I can’t do this, I can’t do this. But I had to. It was too late to turn back.
I hummed my song under my breath. Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she wonderful? My hands shook as I pulled at a loose thread from the olive green material of my scarf. I watched the clock on the wall, the big hand ticking by slowly.
From out of nowhere, I felt nauseous. I quickly stood up, mumbling “Be right back…” to my mum, and ran to the bathroom. I fell to the tile floor and leaned over the cold porcelain of the toilet to empty my stomach. My churning stomach growled at the crowd outside. I turned my head to rest my cheek on the seat. What was I doing?
“Harry?” a young girl’s voice called from outside.
“Yeah?” I warbled back. My sister walked in, watching me with worried eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I can’t do it, Gemma. I just can’t.” I said, relieving my throat by undoing my scarf and standing up.
“Yes you can,” she said, rubbing my back as I rinsed out my mouth. “You’ve come this far, what with White Eskimo and all that.” I sucked in my cheeks as I turned to face her. “You can do this, Harry. Just turn on the ol’ charm, right?” she smiled.
“I guess,” I said, blowing out my breath.
We walked back to the side of the stage. “You all right, love?” my mum asked.
“As all right as I can get,” I replied, wrapping my scarf around my neck once more and smiling.
“Harry Styles?” a man called from the curtains.
I turned to my mother once more. “It’s okay; you’ll do fine,” she said, kissing both my cheeks.
“And we’ll still love you even if you don’t,” my stepfather said, slapping me on the back as my mum elbowed him, scowling.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as my sister’s arms enveloped me.
Go out there, Harry. Go on out there and show them what you can do. I know you can do it,” she whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes and inhaled – this was the last time I would see her without me possibly not being worldwide known. I reluctantly let go of her as the stage manager pulled me towards the stage. She had tears in her eyes as she mouthed “I love you.”
I bit my lip as I turned to face the stage. We stood there for a short amount of time until the blonde boy from earlier walked off stage, grinning. “Good luck!” he said. I believe his name was Niall….
The man nudged me. “You’re up.”
I turned back one last time to face my family and mouthed “I love you too,” and then walked on stage.
The spotlight blinded me, but I could see them.
So to some people it might just be a scarf.
Heck, it is just a scarf, even to me.
But it has the memories.
It has the memories of the beginning.
Well that was fun, wasn't it?
If you want to see Harry's audition, click on the galloping llama (it opens in a new window don't worry). (if you pause the video at 2:33, (from left to right) that's Harry's stepdad, his mum, and Gemma)